So, 2020 eh?

It is my tradition to compile a list of the highlights of my year. It goes without saying that this year has been…different. However, as a couple of introverts without children, who had just acquired a kitten and Disney+, it has to be said that 2020 was relatively kind to us.

But I am keenly aware that for many it was intensely difficult, and there were far fewer highlights than usual. It’s beyond my own modest talents to speak to the tragedies and hardships of this year, but I what I have I give to you: my own particular brand of nonsense.

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So, the end of the year is upon us. A full 365 days of 2019. Quite a lot isn’t it? Far too many, some would argue.

Nonetheless, I have managed to cobble together some highlights for you to enjoy. Because in this time of uncertainty, we cling to our traditions. No matter how pointless or illogical. Don’t think about it, just let it happen.

In keeping with tradition, and basic mathematics, therefore – here is a list of my 19 highlights for 2019. I have chosen the number 19 because the only non-trivial normal magic hexagon contains 19 hexagons, and it is the maximum number of fourth powers needed to sum up to any natural number.

Let’s get on with it, shall we?

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So, that time is upon us again. A year has ended. And, as has become traditional, I will be listing my 18 favourite bits of the 365 days that made up 2018. I chose the number 18 because it is a semiperfect number and also the first inverted square-prime of the form p·q².

Let’s be honest, no-one cares about this bit. It’s like the bit at the start of a recipe blog where you have to read the blogger’s entire life story before finding out how to make their oatmeal and raisin cookies.

So let’s get stuck straight in.

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So, the Christmas season is upon us.*

Shops are open for longer, the Germans have invaded our high streets with their markets, and Noddy Holder has awoken from his 11-month slumber to the sound of his royalty cheque being posted through the front door.

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So, the year is ending. It is going the way of all things. Time continues to barrel inexorably onwards and we find ourselves another 365 days closer to the inevitable heat death of the Universe.

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One of my favourite things about going home for Christmas is reading the family newsletters that Mum gets sent. It’s always a joy to hear what more successful people have been doing with their year.

And this year I wanted to get a piece of the action myself.

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So, the moment is upon us. A moment we all knew would arrive. But none of us wanted to face. It is time to say goodbye to the hallowed vehicle we have come to know, affectionately, as the Mikeyra.

So many memories it has given us. So many lives it has touched. So many adventures. So many words I could say. And I will. But not yet, for there are important rituals to be observed.

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As you are quite possibly aware, at the start of each New Year I embark on the perilous quest that is the annual cleaning of my trusty steed, the Mikeyra. (Trusty steed is a metaphor. The Mikeyra is a car, not a horse. And cleaning is a literal term, rather than a euphemism for some sort of equine colonic irrigation)

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So you may not have heard, but I’ve just got a new job writing internet headlines.

It’s an under-appreciated art. Mark my words, in years to come all of the world’s most celebrated artists will be internet headline writers. Personal wealth will no longer be measured in pounds and dollars but in the number of clicks one’s links generate.

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Recently, I performed the required yearly cleansing ritual on my car, in order that it may be presented without blemish upon the day of reckoning.

The following is a list of things I found inside its rusty innards whilst completing the rite:

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